Mgmt Lesson

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops - a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight,built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.

Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it. The next day the same thing happened - Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next.

This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself.

So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!"The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not?"With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass."

Innocence !!!

A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with hismother in the doctor's office.He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"

Shereplied, "I'm having a baby."

With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"

She answered, "He sure is."

Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"

She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."

With an even more surprised and shocked look he asked," Then why did youeat him?"

Banks the saviours

Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation tocelebrate their 40th anniversary.Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladiesand Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines haveCeased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, Isee an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on thebeach.However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to liveon the island for the rest of our lives!"Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on theisland.

An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, "Mona, did we pay our Rs5lakh deposit cheque yet to ICICI Bank?"
"No, sweetheart," she responds.

Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Mona, did we payour ICICI Bank Master card yet?"
"Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque," she says.

"One last thing, Mona. Did you remember to send cheques for the autoloan to them too this month?" he asks.
"Oh, forgive me, Rajiv," begged Mona. "I didn't send that one, either."

Rajiv grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 40 years. Mona pullsaway and asks him, "So, why did you hug me?"Rajiv answers, "They'll find us"

Arrested for laughing! This is from an actual trial in the UK

A young woman several months pregnant boarded a bus. She noticed ayoung man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of hercondition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her third move he burst out laughing..................She had him arrested.

When the case came before the court, the young man was asked why heacted in such a manner. His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus Icouldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She first sat under anadvertisement, which read: 'Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins'. I was even more amused when she changed her seat and went to sit under ashaving advertisement,
which read: 'William's Stick Did The Trick'. Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move shesat under an advertisement, which read: 'Dunlop Rubber would haveprevented this accident.'

The case was dismissed.........!!!

Processing Speed

R K Laxman Special

Embarrassing Situation

A very shy young man goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman
sitting alone. After an hour he gathers enough courage to go and ask her, "Er...
excuse me, but would you mind if I sat here beside you?"
She responds in a loud voice :
"NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
Everyone in the bar turns to stare at them. The young man is surprised,
shocked and embarrassed and goes back to his table.
After a few minutes the woman walks over to him smiles, apologizes,
and says, "You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how
people respond to embarrassing situations."
The young man responds loudly with,
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THREE THOUSAND RUPEES.
THATS TOO MUCH !"

Phone Bill

The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting.

Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone; I use the one at the office.
Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone
Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile
Maid: So what is the problem? We all use our work telephones